How my Motherís Day Mindset Shifted With This One Action
Account to Approve workflow on Thursday, May 16, 2019 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
I woke up this past Sunday morning and the first thing I thought of when my eyes opened was “wow, what would it feel like to have a little munchkin bring me breakfast in bed.” That was something we did for my Mom... God bless her for eating whatever concoction we cooked up!
Next, I proceeded to hop on social media and realized for the next 12 hours I would see a steady stream of Mother’s Day messages, quotes, and pictures. After I put a loving post on Facebook for my Mom and sent several girlfriends messages wishing them a happy day, I sat there and frankly began to have a little bit of a pity party for little ol’ me. You see, I love kids. I wish I had kids... and on Mother’s Day it’s a reminder of this certain “club” I’m not part of. Why is that? I suppose I could come up with a multitude of reasons... choices, not feeling worthy, or simply time slipping by too quickly. It’s interesting too how people try to help with comments such as “but you’re a mom to so many” or “you know it’s really a lot of work and not always fun” ... and my personal favorite from someone who I am sure was well intentioned, “Meg, could it be that you want a child because you just are looking for someone else to take care of?” ... isn’t that part of the drive to have children? To want to nurture and love and yes take care of them?
The thing is, Mother’s Day has been for several years a bit painful... but laying in bed on this specific sunny morning, I made the decision to say “enough!” AND TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT!
I realized I had a choice. I could sit and feel sorry for myself and question why I made the choices I made in my life OR I could snap out of my funk and use one of the million tools I write about and use with clients. So, I grabbed my journal and for the first time in a long time, I started putting my thoughts onto paper. It’s amazing this thing about swirling thoughts in your head... they are a lot more easy to deal with in black and white than ruminating and circulating in your head.
What I discovered after pouring out my thoughts was that not only am I ready to release the regret, but I’m even more so ready to embrace the idea that I already am a mother. I am a mother in so many ways to so many people and children in my life that my cup actually runneth over. The tears I’d been crying over not having my own child on Mother’s Day turned into tears of gratitude.
So here is where it got really fun... I thought to myself, “let’s say I was a mother to a child. What would I do right now?” Well, I’d probably get my butt up and out of bed and get going with the day...make breakfast...go for a walk with the dog...look for something fun to do where everything is seen through a new set of eyes. I decided instead of acting from a place of lack to instead embody being a mother and to see what might show up in terms of my outlook and perspective.
As humans we tend to think that, “well, when I have the child or when I get married or when I get the new promotion or when I get the new car or when I lose the weight, then I’m going to feel happy.”
I think we have everything totally mixed up and in the reverse!
The only way to truly enjoy the end result of any of these goals is to relish and delight in the journey. Wouldn’t the destination be so much sweeter if our journey to it were filled with less stress and more joy?
So, I got up. Put on some music. Got into my workout clothes. Threw Birdie’s harness on and went for a walk. I then remembered a time in my life several years ago where I would start my walk every day with a set of rituals that were so uplifting. Rituals like “20 things I’m grateful for...and a ritual where I imagined this beautiful energy coming into my body and filling me up like a bright shining light... and yet another one where I would literally speak out loud (yes the neighbors probably thought I was losing it!) what my day was going to look like from that moment on until I went to sleep.
So, as I went through these rituals, I started to feel more grounded and connected to everyone and everything. And within three minutes of my walk, I crossed the street to the walking path where Birdie and I walk each day, and noticed all these people walking. Literally hundreds of people. It was clearly some sort of 5K or 10K walk. So, I asked someone and discovered it was the Mother’s Day walk... To celebrate mothers...how beautiful is that?
Now, if this would have been several years ago, I probably would have felt like a loser. Like a fish out of water. Like I didn’t belong. But today, instead, I jumped in. and I stepped into the energy of these hundreds of people walking. Grandmothers, mothers, babies in strollers, dogs, fathers. And I just stepped into it. And it felt so loving and so amazing to be walking amidst all of these happy and grateful people (who by the way may have had a pity party themselves earlier that morning... hey, none of us get EVERYTHING in this life, right?) And as I walked, I kept saying to myself, I am a mother. I’m a good mother. I’m a mother to so many.
As I walked, I realized I had been able to shift from my low vibe literally 30 minutes earlier to feeling so HAPPY simply by mothering myself. I think so often we look outside of ourselves for the answers and ways in which to feel good. Instead, all we have to do is go within and give ourselves some TLC by embodying what we really desire in our lives.
Why are you waiting until next week, next month or next year to be a mother?
Why are you waiting for Monday or the first of the month to start leading a healthy lifestyle?
Why are you waiting to take the course that will get you to the next level for the promotion?
Instead, start right now, this minute. Begin embodying what and who you want to be.
So, as I finished the walk, I found myself coming down to the finish line. They were handing out roses, bottles of water, and the energy was just so magical. I stopped with Birdie and thought, “oh, I’ve got to write a blog about this experience. From an hour ago feeling sad and sorry for myself to feeling completely elated.”
As I stopped walking, the first person I saw was a friend of mine. The minute I saw her, tears filled my eyes. I remembered this friend of mine lost her mother years ago... and here she was walking in honor of her. I was so steeped in my own sadness an hour earlier, I neglected to remember that I was LUCKY enough to have seen my Mom the night before... lucky enough to have spoken to her that morning.
I couldn’t believe the synchronicity as I hugged her. Keep in mind I haven’t seen this friend of mine for close to a year. I think it was just another reminder to always step into gratitude. When we choose appreciation for what we DO HAVE versus what we don’t, our energy lifts. When our energy lifts, we’re able to step boldly, courageously, and with inspiration into our full potential.
So remember the next time your own “themed pity party” begins... you do have the CHOICE to participate...or pivot a bit to get the full picture of the richness of the many layers of your beautiful life from the space of “THANK YOU.”
This One Action Can Change Your Life!
Account to Approve workflow on Friday, May 10, 2019 at 9:00:00 am Comments (0)
I was walking through Costco yesterday on my maiden voyage as a new member. Side note - I couldn’t stop giggling at the size of the cart and every other item in the store! I must say, though, their ginger lemon Kombucha tea in the refrigerated section is the BEST!
Ok, so as I am walking by the Himalayan Salt Krinkle Potato Chips (you have to try those as well... seriously!) I saw a mom and young boy around the age of six walking towards me. She looked exhausted as he shouted at her in a whiny yet forceful voice “but I want the ice cream...NOW!” The look on his face actually kind of scared me :)
I probably did the wide eyed “oh boy” look on my face and then stopped to realize...”hey, aren’t we ALL adult versions of that kid sometimes?”
Thought about it for a second...
Do you get frustrated, whiny, and angry:
When you have to wait in line.
When your waitress forgets to add on the side of ranch.
When your family members leave the kitchen a mess.
When the guy in the sports car cuts you off in traffic.
When your dog wants to go out at 5 a.m. (this one is from personal experience 1 hour ago:)
Hmmm. So maybe we have more in common with the “spoiled” little Costco munchkin than we realize?
What’s the remedy? Well, what would you tell the little guy? Probably something like “you should be grateful that I just bought you those gummy bears!”
Bingo. The solution to any kind of “suffering” is to step into a big “THANK YOU.”
Let’s go back to the above list and flip them into gratitude:
SPOILED: “I am SO annoyed. They really should open more check out lanes. My gosh…it’s 5 p.m... didn’t they anticipate people coming from work to get groceries? OMG that checkout woman is SO slow.”
GRATEFUL: “Thank you. I finally have a moment to breathe after a hectic day. I have a good five minutes here in line to either meditate/people watch/leaf through People Magazine or answer a few emails on my phone, and go through ten things I am grateful for today.”
SPOILED: “I can’t believe she forgot my side of ranch. I asked her, like, THREE times! Now I am going to have to wait and my food is going to get cold... we are never coming back here. The service sucks.”
GRATEFUL: “Thank you God. I am able to afford going out for dinner and they actually have ranch! Thank you that I am sitting here while someone else cooks my food and serves my food. Thank you that I am given this opportunity to cut another human being a break...someone who may be having a rough day and has been serving other people for years. Thank you for the delicious food on my plate. Oh, and thank you if she doesn’t bring the ranch because that will be 100 calories I won’t have to feel guilty about later :) “
SPOILED: “These kids are so spoiled. Look at this kitchen. I have to do EVERYTHING! They don’t appreciate me.”
GRATEFUL: “Well, it’s a mess that is for sure. But they are graduating next month and off to college in August. Once Fall arrives, my kitchen will be shiny clean 24/7, but they won’t be here. I guess the breadcrumbs on the floor, the eggshells in the sink, and the dirty dishes on the counter are little reminders of those I love. And I am grateful to use this messy kitchen as an opportunity for a family meeting to remind them of how GOOD it makes me feel to have things tidied up a bit.”
SPOILED: “What a JERK! Who does he think he is? He totally cut me off. I am going to speed up and tailgate him to give him a taste of his own medicine. Even better, I’ll pass him and then cut HIM off! I’ll show HIM!”
GRATEFUL: “Well, clearly that guy is having a bad day. Maybe he got let go at work? Maybe someone treated him poorly today? I wonder if he is racing off to the hospital because he just found out a loved one is ill or dying? Thank you God that I have a car, that I am able to drive, that there is a gas in it, that I am able to afford the insurance and that I am in a space that allows me to drive safely and in a way that is kind to my fellow human beings.”
SPOILED: “Jesus Mary Joseph. I can sense someone looking at me, panting, and whining a bit. She needs to go outside AGAIN? I just took her out 2 hours ago. Seriously??? Why can’t she just hold it? Oh, it’s probably the garbage she got into last night. Why didn’t I adopt a cat instead??? I am so exhausted.”
GRATEFUL: “Thank you for allowing me the gift of caring for an animal this sweet. I get to be her “dog mommy.” Look at her sweet eyes. She unconditionally loves me. Thank you for allowing me this opportunity to reciprocate her love by tending to her. What a privilege.”
Practicing the art of “THANK YOU” in the not so fun moments of your day has the power to change your life. When I am able to catch myself and practice gratitude when I am on the fence between “spoiled” and “grateful” I can tell you wholeheartedly that hopping to the side of gratitude is incredibly moving. Writing that example actually brought tears to my eyes. Trust me, I don’t always hop to the right side of the fence, but when I do, it just feels GOOD! Isn’t that what we all want? To FEEL the way we want to feel?
Remember, your experiences each day are determined as “good” or “bad” simply by the filter you view it through. The silver lining is always available to you if you have the desire to look.
P.S. Are you part of my FREE community yet? Click here to join and you’ll find more tips and tools for living with more elegance, ease, and magic each day.
Spring Clean Your Home and Mind!
Account to Approve workflow on Thursday, May 2, 2019 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
This time of year evokes a sense of renewal. The flowers are beginning to peak out of the earth, longer days means more sunshine, and there is a “fresh start” feeling all around. This is also the time of year you may get the windows washed, car cleaned, and closets decluttered.
You’ve probably experienced exhilaration or even a sense of calmness after completely cleaning your home or organizing.
Why is that?
Since everything is made of energy, cleaning and decluttering your physical environment clears away stagnant energy making space for more room to breathe. Ahhhh! What a good feeling.
This time of year is also an opportunity to go deeper into the idea of decluttering your mind... which is not always so easy peasy as cleaning out the garage!
What does it mean to spring clean your mind?
It means taking inventory of what is and isn’t working in terms of the thoughts, beliefs, and stories about yourself (and others!) you continue to recycle in your head and heart. It’s amazing the “stuff” we hold on to and drag around without even realizing it. Guilt, worry, stress, regret, blame, lack of forgiveness... if your emotional clutter had labels what would they be?
Thoughts literally have the power to lift or deplete our energy and as a result deeply affect our daily experience. If you desire more joy and peace in your life, take a look at your thoughts. Think of it as a curious examination of what your mind says throughout the day. Awareness of your thoughts/beliefs/stories provides information about what is and isn’t working and is also the first step to change.
So my invitation to you this week is to pick one thought you have about yourself and most importantly ask yourself “what would my life be like without this thought?”
I am too old to do XYZ...
I will always have a weight problem...
There aren’t any good men/women out there...
I don’t see myself getting the promotion...
I will never reach XYZ income...
It’s always been this way for me... things will never change...
I should just accept it.
I can’t believe she/he did “XYZ”
Why can’t she/he just do “XYZ”
Give it a try for the next week. When you catch yourself creating clutter internally, use that moment as an opportunity to question whether that thought is serving you AND if not, what would your life be like at that moment without that thought?
I’d love to hear how this goes for you. It’s truly transforming!
P.S. If you are in the Milwaukee area next Tuesday, May 7th, join us for the Self Love Summit where we will be discussing this topic. Details are available by going to mojomeg.com and clicking on “self love summit” tab.
Your Happiness Playbook
Account to Approve workflow on Wednesday, April 24, 2019 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
Do you look outside yourself for answers to finding more joy? You know something is missing in your life... but you just can’t pinpoint exactly what that is. So you do what many of us do which is seeking and searching for that sense of security only to find yourself thirsting for more. Maybe you fill up your calendar to escape loneliness, spend your free time shopping, or perhaps go on the newest and greatest cleanse. Did you know that everything you need to feel more happiness exists at your fingertips at this very moment?
I’d love for you to imagine right now what it would feel like to be healthy in your mind, body, and spirit. How would you feel waking up? What would your morning routine look like? What clothes would you wear? How would you nourish your body? What would you do in your free time? Who would you hang out with? How would you feel when simply sitting in silence? Peaceful, content, and at home with yourself?
The number one thing people I work with want LESS of is STRESS. What they desire MORE of is HAPPINESS. So let’s set aside this idea of searching outside of ourselves and go within and uncover 5 of my favorite tools that you can begin incorporating NOW... think of it as your personal “Happiness Playbook.”
1. Stay In Your Lane- whenever you are suffering (triggered, reactive, sad, frustrated, annoyed, impatient....) ask yourself “whose lane am I in right now?” Chances are you are in someone else’s lane or God’s lane. Worrying about the weather? That’s God’s lane. Frustrated because you do SO much for your friend and she isn’t reciprocating? Yep... you are cruising in her lane trying to control her speed. When we quit invading other people’s energy space and focus on ourselves, a peacefulness arises. When you are in your own lane, you don’t need to take on the effects of other people’s choices and behavior. It’s a healthy form of self-protection AND it’s a great way to allow others to work through their own “stuff.” A powerful by-product of this tool is you are also able to practice ACCEPTANCE. When we stay in our own business, we are forced to actually feel our own feelings without projecting them on to others. Moving away from resisting “what is” (our feelings, worries, concerns) and into feeling them, accepting them, and moving on is a powerful way to create more serenity and happiness in your life.
2. Celebrate- Parties don’t just need to be for birthdays! If you look closely you will find reasons every day to celebrate something. A good friend who was an expert at creating joy would find reasons to celebrate all the time. The Oscars were on... time for a party! Her cat’s birthday... you guessed it!
It’s not that you need to throw a party for everything... just begin to look at life through the eyes of celebration. Your niece got on the Dean’s list? How about inviting her over for lunch to celebrate or mail her a congrats card? You closed a new account at work? Why not meet with your team for coffee or happy hour to give yourselves a high five? I just love this idea of intentionally recognizing (aka celebrating) moments big and small each day. It gives life more of positive energetic feel...and it’s fun.
3. Mystical Wonder- When was the last time you walked through the woods or your city park with utter amazement at the colors of the trees, the feel of the bark, the sounds of the birds, and the smells of Spring? When you see a deer or a fox do you pause with the wonder of a child or go back to your smart phone to google about different types of fox etc? Being in the moment with whatever you are doing or whomever you are with creates a sacred sense of joy. Tap into your inner child or better yet go on a walk with one and you will see the world from fresh new eyes. There is magic everywhere if you choose to look.
4. Appreciation- I recently heard someone talk about how they wrote one letter to someone every day in 2018 and it changed their life. Showing appreciation towards others for simply who they are as well as their acts of kindness fills up your happiness bucket. Amp up the gratitude practice by first listing 5 things each day you are grateful for and then follow up with a letter to someone. Receiving a handwritten note is rarity these days and such a gift.
5. Connection- how often do you race through your day without connecting to your soul/spirit? Meditation is the doorway into doing so but if it’s not your thing, simply try sitting for 10 breaths each morning paying attention to your breathing, your heart, and your lungs.
What about your connection to others? Call up an old friend, have family over for dinner, or begin volunteering. When we open our hearts, homes, and time to others we feel more grounded and connected to one another.
Finally, never underestimate the power you have of connecting to those beyond “the veil.” Your guardian angels, your guides, and loved ones I believe are simply waiting to be asked how they may help us navigate this sometimes amazingly beautiful and something heartbreaking and painful life. What do you have to lose by simply trying? A good friend would laugh when I insisted he repeat the mantra “angels above me, angel below me, angels all around me... help me find a good parking spot”.... but he doesn’t anymore because somehow he always seems to secure rock star parking :)
My wish for you is to approach each day, as it is... a gift. This moment right now as you are reading these words, the next hour, the rest of the day has never happened before and it never will again. Cherish this delicious life through acceptance, appreciation, connection, wonder, and celebration...and see what happens.
Energy is Everything
Account to Approve workflow on Thursday, April 18, 2019 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
If you would have asked me about the topic of energy 10 years ago, I probably would have thought you were discussing electric bills! The idea of environmental and personal energy really hadn’t hit home with me yet. That all changed when a mentor asked me to participate in a laying on of hands healing event. I had helped recruit “healers” for the 300+ person event... chiropractors, massage therapists, and energy workers. An hour or so before the event began, my mentor informed me I would join these professionals and participate in the event.
My first reaction was, “Say what? Ummmm... I am not a healer. I am a former sales executive turned life coach!”
Flash forward three hours later and my outlook on the power of energy had taken a radical shift. Flash forward 4 years later and I’ve become certified in Reiki, have experienced mysticism in ways I never dreamed of, and help busy professional use and protect their energy in intentional ways so they are able to do the work they are here to do with more happiness and ease.
Not only are each of us made of soulful energy but we ALL are healers. We have the ability to heal with our words, thoughts, and the energy we put out to others and the world. Think about it for a second... if your energy is low (let’s say it’s a 2 on a scale of 1-10) you carry this vibration with you to people, projects, and decisions throughout the day. On the flip side, if your energy level is closer to a ten, your vibration has the ability to affect others in a positive way.... hence the idea that with intention, you are a healer.
This month’s Self Love Summit was all about ENERGY. Nancy Helland, an energy clearer, was our guest speaker (you can check her out at clearbeing.com) and she discussed simple ways to raise our vibration. She also gave us a sneak peak into her space clearing work with private clients. Let’s just say there were some pretty amazing stories shared from everyone regarding the energy within ones home and office!
So how can we raise our vibration?
Let’s first look at what drains it...
Lowers energetic vibration:
Over intake of food or alcohol
And what raises it....
Raises energetic vibration:
Being present with whoever or whatever is in front of you
Connecting with others
Let’s not forget a final easy and powerful way to raise your energy.... DECLUTTERING!
This month at the Self Love Summit, Lisa Blue from Spaces by Lisa will be our guest speaker. She is a personal organizer and will be sharing her secrets and life changing tips to create more flow in your environment... and thus your life.
When we change our environmental energy, it’s that much easier to emotionally declutter within.
Go to mojomeg.com for more details on the event and to register.
Have a great weekend,
Criticism Is A Gift
Account to Approve workflow on Friday, April 12, 2019 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
A respected acquaintance recently discussed viewing criticism (in a constructive way!) as a gift. Inherently, we have a tendency to dread reviews from bosses, feedback from colleagues, or surveys from clients. Why is that? Really think about it. Why do we physically cringe or hold our breath at “you are doing great… BUT…?”
Could it be fear of rejection or failure? Might it be paranoia that we simply don’t cut it?
In a snap of a finger you can change your perception of reality. Rather than holding on to the fear, why not accept the “criticism” as a bonus? Changing our perception allows us to grab hold of this gift and use it as a tool to move us onward and upward!
From personal experience, being open to this type of exchange can actually be liberating and create a level of trust between two people that is rock solid.
A good friend of mine has a real knack for “telling it like it is.” Love her or not, you always know she shoots straight. She has no problem disagreeing with me, my opinions, (or my haircut!) but boy do I enjoy being around her! Why? Because you feel safe with her. She is real. She is who she is and only wants the best for the people she loves.
Graciously give and accept!
Enjoy the day,
Try This One Tip To Decrease Stress
Account to Approve workflow on Thursday, April 4, 2019 at 9:00:00 am Comments (0)
You are in a rush and have to quick pick up a few things at the store before picking up the kids, making it on time to spin, or trying not to be late for your happy hour with friends. As you wait in line, the woman in front of you decides to write a check ... and she writes really, really slow. After she carefully tears the check off, she slowly puts her wallet back in her purse...and looks for her keys... while carrying on a lengthy conversation about the price of bananas with the clerk.
At this point, would you say you might be a wee bit stressed?
Stress happens in big and little ways throughout the day and let's face it... what results is this essence of "suffering." When I say suffering, it means our blood pressure is elevated, we feel anxious, and sometimes we're ready to have a hissy fit.
My question is this: What does all this "fussing" accomplish and how can we step away from the suffering it creates?
One word... Acceptance.
I recently participated in a ten-week program Eckhart Tolle presented with Oprah on his book, A New Earth. In it, he dives into this idea of the three modes we are capable of staying in the majority of the time:
He claims whenever we are not in one of these spaces, we are in essence suffering.
For example, you have a flat tire. Of course this wouldn't put you into a state of enjoyment or enthusiasm... but could you make the choice to step into the space of acceptance?
I tried it out for one week straight and I have to tell you it was transformative. My alter ego, Frantic Franny (aka- impatient, frazzled, hurrying, scurrying, and a "Whirling Dervish") went on vacation. Not kidding!
When I began seeing situations that normally would put me over the edge as opportunities to try this "acceptance" idea out... a sense of peace enveloped my being and life become much more peaceful. Not only did this pleasantly surprise me but also the people in my life were the happy recipients of my more serene energy.
So try it for a few days and see what happens. At the grocery store with the checkbook lady in front of you, driving in the car when someone cuts you off, or your handling your insane workload at the office.
Our thoughts and the energy we put out to the world every day really is a choice. It's not always easy, but the simple act of accepting the present moment and "controlling what we can control" is an invitation to peace, serenity, and joy.
When Do You Hit A Wall?
Account to Approve workflow on Friday, March 29, 2019 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
Clients typically contact me when they experiencing one of two things:
1. Stuck: They are paralyzed with the fear of settling for “everyday ordinary” in their lives.
2. Overwhelmed: They have an extraordinary life but simply have too much going on to enjoy it.
For the first group, I quote the title of Laura Day’s book by saying, “Welcome to Your Crisis!” My feeling is even if it’s fear, at least they are feeling something! When in the midst of anxiety about ones professional or personal life, it means there is something cooking… and when there’s something cooking, change is coming.
For the second group, it’s about clarity, structure, and focus. Getting clear on what they want, organizing their lives in a way that fuels them, and focusing their energy towards a life which “flips their switch” is key.
So if you happen to find yourself in either mode, buck up and hang on! You WILL get through the fear and move through the storm you are experiencing. You DO have the ability to go from overwhelmed to “I’ve got this.”
Transforming your life is within your control. You deserve it.
Enjoy the day,
Account to Approve workflow on Friday, March 22, 2019 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
Each time you stay present with fear and uncertainty, you’re letting go of a habitual way of finding security and comfort.” ~ Pema Chodron
A life filled with ease. Isn’t that what we all desire? How is this feasible with all the worries and fears that filter through our minds on a minute by minute basis?
Uncertainty with the future.
Uncertainty about our loved ones being safe, happy and healthy.
Uncertainty about paying the rent.
Uncertainty about finding a partner.
Uncertainty about getting sick.
Uncertainty about what happens after we are “gone.”
Just writing this is bringing me down!
While uncertainty will never go away, there are ways to quiet its frightful voice. Reminding ourselves of the beauty and certainty of this very moment creates feelings of relief, gratitude and thus joy. Amp up the joy by choosing to appreciate who or what is in front of you every moment over the next 24 hours. Chances are you will forget about all that uncertain stuff.
Have a happy day!
Account to Approve workflow on Friday, March 15, 2019 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
Do you ever feel REALLY, REALLY good about your life? You have a moment of “Wow! Things are rolling along quite nicely… this feels nice!” Then BAM! The guilt sets in. You think about how much you have, and the perceived “lack” in other people’s lives. You begin to question why you’re the lucky one and maybe you should just dial it down a notch.
If that sounds familiar, you are not alone. Many people unconsciously feel they are testing fate when reveling in the extraordinary lives they have consciously created!
Get out of the “guilt’s” with the following tips:
- Ditch the pity: Quit feeling “sorry” for people, which is much different than compassion. It doesn’t do them any good or yourself. Everyone has his or her own versions of a happy life.
- Take action: Get out and volunteer. Give back. Do or create something you feel creates momentum of moving yourself and others forward.
- You Can’t Give What You Don’t Have: If you reject your good vibes out of guilt, you can’t pass on your happy energy to those who need it most! Creating as much joy and success in your own life creates an overflow of abundance you are then able to share with everyone around you.
Enjoy the day!
Get Rid of the Shoulds
Account to Approve workflow on Friday, March 8, 2019 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
How often do we start a thought or sentence with “I should…..?” For many of us, it’s an unconscious habit we do every day in our self-talk and communication with others.
Most of the “shoulds” do not serve our higher purpose, but instead are obligations or habits we’ve imposed upon ourselves. Many times they are also based off of what others think is best for us which is a tricky path to hop on.
Getting rid of the “shoulds” pushes away the clutter and leaves an open space for living our lives based on what we truly want and deserve. When you toss out the frustration and anxiety of living a life based on “shoulds,” things start to flow with ease.
Try this today:
1. Be aware of when you make a “should” statement or thought.
2. Ask yourself, “Why do I feel I should do this?”
3. Review what’s behind the “should.” You might find there are deeper reasons (pleasing others, guilt, low self esteem, etc.), which need to be addressed instead.
4. Ask yourself any of these questions:
“Do I want to do this or am I trying to please someone else?”
“In doing this am I living a life based on my values?”
“Will this push me towards a fulfilling future or keep me stuck in the past?”
“What gratification am I receiving from doing this? Does this represent who I want to be?”
Good luck and have a happy day!
Your Divine Team
Account to Approve workflow on Thursday, February 28, 2019 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
Why You Need A Divine Team
You are in a crisis. Things aren’t going right at work, in a relationship or with your health. Who do you call for their wisdom? Where do you go for support? Which people bring you comfort? These are the people who lift you up and help carry you through the fire when going it alone is simply too tough. This is your “divine team.”
The same holds true for our thrilling desires and goals. Whether we call upon our trusted friends and advisers or reach out spiritually through our faith and wisdom from those who have passed, we are consulting with our “divine team.”
It’s important to be hyper vigilant that who we choose to share these parts of ourselves with our truly investors in our lives. Individuals who want the best for us, who do not project their own shadow parts or negative experiences on to us and our situations.
Whether it is draining drama or exciting developments in your life, it’s key to choose wisely where you spread the energy and to whom.
Creating Your Divine Team
Make a list of who you LOVE being around. These are the people who support you, challenge you, and make you aware of the beauty of life! You in turn, are able to give to them as well.
The next time you have something fun to share or maybe you’re going through a tough time, these are the people you to look for! Turn away from old, familiar patterns or seeking support from individuals who tend to add to the pain or take away from the joy.
(Keep in mind, it’s OKAY if you only have one person on your list. One member of your Divine Team is 100x’s more effective than 20 energy suckers!)
“Sometimes our light goes out, but is blown again into instant flame by an encounter with another human being.” ― Albert Schweitzer
What's Your Walk Up Song?
Account to Approve workflow on Friday, February 22, 2019 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
I love synchronicity.
Recently, I was the opening speaker for an extraordinary company’s annual retreat. Before heading onstage, I was asked, “so what song would you like to play?” My first reaction was, “???!! I didn’t think about that part!” Three days later, one of my clients was on a high from a conference she attended. One of her favorite presentations of the day was centered around the topic of “What’s Your Walk Up Song?” How perfect!
When you think about it, we all march out the door every morning to a certain beat exuding either high or low energy. As a result, we tend to create really great experiences or not so great ones.
Ask yourself right now, “What’s my walk up song today?” Maybe if you’re navigating rough waters it might be “Titanium,” or if you’re feeling on top of the world, “Girl On Fire!”
Remember, we all have a choice to choose our song, our values, our best self.
Account to Approve workflow on Thursday, February 14, 2019 at 8:00:00 am Comments (0)
“Hard times arouse an instinctive desire for authenticity.”
Earlier this week one of the gem topics was on personal retreats. A dear friend recently shared with me one of the exercises she did while on a retreat a few years ago. During this time she had been in recovery from a life event causing her to look at things differently from the perspective of what she calls her “higher self.” She graciously offered it to me to share with you all:
“Your authentic self is to cherish and treasure-it is a gift and a blessing that deserves expression now and always-whatever the future brings.
Love yourself unconditionally.
Express and name your feelings.
Be vulnerable in safe company or alone.
What’s your description of living as your higher self? Take a moment to share with me your thoughts on this topic!
Wishes to you for a happy day!
The Power of Community
Meg Daly on Friday, February 8, 2019 at 8:00:00 am Comments (0)
We all have wishes and desires for our lives. Maybe it’s a new job, a partner to share our lives with, financial success or material items we have yet to enjoy.
For some, a sense of friendship is a missing piece.
It’s amazing how the power of connection with another human being who has no other agenda than supporting you can elevate you to new heights.
I see it within the Circles I facilitate. The energy and encouragement from “Circle Mates” is strong and participants seem to move even quicker to their goals through the process of reaching out to others for advice, positive energy or just sending supportive thoughts between our sessions.
If you are struggling with finding your “tribe” within your own community, simply start identifying what you love and create your own community with others who share this passion. It might be a book club, wine club, a new sport you want to participate in… or maybe even it’s starting a Circle of your own!
“Communication - the human connection - is the key to personal and career success.” ~ Paul J. Meyer
Past or FutureÖ Which Drives Your Behavior?
Account to Approve workflow on Friday, February 1, 2019 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
Every choice we’ve made in our lives has led us to where we are now. Not the actions of other towards us but really our reaction to them.
If you are feeling overwhelmed or stuck, it may be time to take a good look at what’s gotten you to this point. Our past, whether positive or negative, has the tendency to become familiar and comfortable. It’s what we know.
Failed relationships? Boring jobs? A “lackluster” life? Defining who we are by the past simply sets the stage for the same people with different faces, the same jobs with different titles, and the same outlook on life. Living in the mindset that we only attract the “same old same old” inevitably brings to us more of the same.
Proactively choosing a new vision for the future is new and scary, but can move you to where you truly want to be. Choose today to envision something new, different, and exciting. Pretty soon, those images you hold will pull you towards making decisions which support your dreams. Make your dreams your new manifesto for your life. Write them down. Share them with a friend who will hold you accountable when you veer off course. Create a morning mantra. Do what it takes to lift you out of every day ordinary to a life filled with extraordinary! You deserve more than you think you are capable of!
Enjoy the day!
Fine-Tune Your Friend Time!
Account to Approve workflow on Friday, January 25, 2019 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
“Friendship consists in forgetting what one gives and remembering what one receives.” – Alexander Dumas
There’s only so much time in one day, and unfortunately friendships tend to take the back seat to family and career responsibilities
If you’re ready to create balance with this topic, put in place these tips!
BGT- Ban Guilt Trips!
Nothing good ever comes of laying guilt trips on others or putting them on yourself…so get off that train! Accept others for what time they have to give and cut yourself a break when you can’t do it all. Set up an agreement with your inner circle to give everyone the benefit of the doubt that everyone is doing the best they can. Some of my closest friends and I may go for weeks or months without talking or seeing… but when things line up and we connect, it’s like no time has passed.
DIFG- Do I Feel Good?
This is a biggie. Take note of HOW you feel when with your group. Do you feel supported, empowered, and overall just really good during your time together? Great! Focus on those people! Do you walk away feeling negative, frustrated, and not heard? Maybe it’s time to rethink the time you are putting into those relationships.
CTFT- Commit To Friend Time!
Once you have a clear picture of whom you want to spend time with… Commit to it! Do whatever it takes not to flake out. Remind yourself of the value you receive. Good friends and good times nourish our souls so make it a priority.
SCE- Set Communication Expectations
You are busy. Everyone is busy. For that reason, have some understood expectations. If you aren’t a texter, tell them. If you don’t want to be messaged or tagged on Facebook, communicate that.
This one works great…if you are just calling to chat, express that in your voice mail so your friend isn’t rushing to call you back when she’s overwhelmed at work. On the flip side, if you really need to bend their ear about something, communicate that as well. Chances are when you really need them, their response time will be quick!
Friendships, just like any relationship, are much smoother when both parties are receiving what they need.
I hope these tips help you in establishing quality friend time and peace!
Wishes to you for a happy day,
The Pain†That Lurks Beneath Your Craving For Connection
Account to Approve workflow on Thursday, January 17, 2019 at 2:00:00 pm Comments (0)
Recently I launched the SELF LOVE SUMMIT and it was in one attendee’s words, “Magical!”
Wow! That pretty much summed up the evening. Meaningful conversation, meeting new people, delicious food, and a powerful discussion around identifying the highlights from 2018 and creating more of those moments and feelings in 2019.
As we discussed as a group, one woman said a word that brought the room into silence, nodding agreement… ISOLATION.
She went on to share that so many of us are disconnected due to technology, busyness, and not choosing to be in the moment. This really resonated with the group and we launched into an even deeper discussion around disconnection with ourselves and others.
Does this resonate with you? If so, here are a few tips to feel more connected and less isolated in your life:
- Put the phone down… or better yet, in your purse: Technology has almost become like a blankie we need by our side, our pillows, and our dinner plates. In the morning, rather than checking in first thing on social media, instead, check in with yourself on how you want to feel that day. When at dinner, put it in your pocket or purse. If you’re worried about emergencies, there’s an option you can assign to certain contacts that will bypass the silence button on your phone.
- Strength Train Your Mind: Practice being present with others and with yourself. Whether you are washing the dishes or having coffee with a friend, when your mind wanders, call it back to whatever or whoever is in front of you by saying “I pay attention on purpose… I pay attention on purpose….”
- Create Your Own Self Love Summit (or whatever you want to call it!): Feeling lack of connection in your life? Then create a group… a book club, wine tasting club, or simply follow the topics I use each month with my summit. You will be amazed at the response and how good you feel afterwards. There is such strength in community.
If you’d like to hear more about the exercise we went through at January’s summit click here to join my free Facebook community and watch the video I did yesterday. The group is called “Get Your Mojo Back!” and it’s full of tips and tools to increase prosperity in all areas of your life.
P.S. If you can’t make the next Self Love Summit February 5th be sure to watch for the fun exercise I’ll be posting on the “Get Your Mojo Back” group (click here) after the summit. It’s a powerful exercise around the topic of “Cleaning The Slate: How Physical & Emotional Clutter Can Hold You Back.”
See you soon,
Through the Fire
Account to Approve workflow on Thursday, January 10, 2019 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
We all know that one “something” we need to conquer in this lifetime. I’d be willing to bet most people’s “something” is related to self-care or relationships. So many people reach out to me feeling “stuck.” In fact, it’s by far the most common word I hear from new clients. I can’t help but think the reason we get “stuck” is because somewhere along the way, we pushed down that “something” we know needs to be confronted and dealt with. Rather than walking through the fire to the other side, we choose to shy away and run from it.
What fire do you need to move through? Really think about that today for a few minutes. What is the predominant pattern you see within yourself which keeps you “stuck?”
Only you have the answer. Once you do, reach out for your reinforcements. Maybe that’s a mentor, loved one, therapist, or coach. Remember, however, you and you alone have the power to make it through that fire. You can ask others to walk beside you, but ultimately you must make the choice, take the action, change the behavior. The beautiful part is the elation felt from harnessing the courage to move through the pain… and of course the bonus of your reinforcements waiting for you on the other side!
Happiness & success,
Meg Daly is a Personal Development Coach who partners with individuals inspired to upgrade the environment and culture within their professional and personal lives. Her approach encourages clients to move from fear and instability, to strength and success. You can learn more about her at www.coachmegdaly.com.
Self-Care Isnít Always Easy
Account to Approve workflow on Thursday, January 3, 2019 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
As the New Year lingers ahead just around the corner it’s a time for reflection and resolutions. Often times we crave taking better care of our bodies, minds, and spirits... and to really do this is not always a walk in the park.
I came across an article today that really resonated with me and I thought you’d enjoy it too. I love the part about parenting yourself to the point where you don’t need to find ways to escape the reality of your life! Click here for the link and enjoy.
Do You Allow Others To Mess With Your Joy?
Account to Approve workflow on Thursday, December 27, 2018 at 12:00:00 pm Comments (0)
Several years ago when I was in the corporate world, I had a reputation for being very nurturing to my team and to my clients. I embraced and loved that part of myself. One day, I was informed by a colleague (who had "the best intentions") that our boss referred to me behind my back as the "mother hen." He told me they didn't think I had the guts to be "tough enough" on my team when needed. This really threw me off track because up until that conversation, I considered those parts of myself my greatest assets.
Immediately I flipped back and forth in my head between defending myself... and doubting myself. What I eventually landed on was acceptance. I decided to embrace my "mother hen" image and realize those parts helped create a great culture, low turn over, and happiness within my team. I also realized it was time to address areas I wanted to enhance within myself such as direct communication and diving into the tough conversations I clearly was avoiding with my team.
The biggest learning that came out of this experience, however, was how often I allowed other people's perception of me to dim my own light. Can you relate?
Think about that for a second. When you allow others to affect your attitude, mood, and happiness, you diminish the opportunities for when you can positively impact those in your world. It's as though by shrinking, you rob others of the benefits of your gifts!
To take it a step further, to not express your gifts, to hide within self doubt, shame, regret, guilt, and fear, you are robbing other people of joy. When you embrace your gifts as well as seeing clearly where you can step into courage and stretch yourself, that's when the magic happens. That's when things begin to line up with more ease and when you start to feel this sense of "ahhhh, I've got this."
So I'd love to go over three tips to avoid stepping into that ditch of doubt:
1. Write down 3 favorite parts of yourself and how they make you feel... as well as how they impact others.
2. Notice when you are having a really good day and ask yourself "Is this happening because I'm expressing my gifts?" And on the flip side, when you're having a not so great day, stop and ask yourself, "Have I expressed my gifts today?" or "Am I allowing fear to prevent me from stretching myself in ways that seem scary?"
3. Recognize and acknowledge the gifts in others. I think so often we fall into the trap of looking at what's wrong in our relationships, or what's wrong in our work, or what's wrong in our lives. What would happen if instead we turned the light on the good? Especially in other people. For example, what might happen if each day at work you highlighted one person and how their gifts benefited the team in a specific situation? It would take ten seconds but the impact would be huge. This creates a space for people to get real and feel okay talking about the wonderful parts of themselves as well as the areas they'd like to shift.
The most powerful tool I believe we possess is the ability to share our light with the world.
Sending you good energy,
What's The Glitter That Makes You Sparkle?
Account to Approve workflow on Thursday, December 20, 2018 at 12:00:00 pm Comments (0)
Recently I started spinning. At first, I dreaded it. The loud music, the instructor shouting, and feeling as if I was about to faint. I would look down and imagine myself falling, my spinning shoe clips not releasing from the pedals, and the entire class stopping/staring... yikes!
Then, I realized the after effects heavily outweighed the "pain" of those 45 minutes. In fact, I started to notice everyone seemed in a pretty good mood. Smiling, laughing, joking with one another...and I felt GREAT after the class. The whole gym, including me, had a positive vibe. A great way to start your day.
This feeling reminded me of my friend Piper, who invited me to the class. She always says..."When you eat glitter for breakfast, you sparkle all day!" I love that!
So what's your glitter?
What makes you a better person than yesterday? Who brings more sparkle into your life? What habits, choices, and mindsets set the tone of your day in an elevated way?
Once you get super clear on what's on your "glitter list," you then have the power to create, in an intentional way, the life you really desire. You begin to feel the way you want to feel. You, my friend, have discovered your own flow, hopped on your own current, and pretty soon the wind is at your back... and you are soaring.
Grab your dose of glitter today. It's good for the soul.
Are You A Rusher?
Account to Approve workflow on Thursday, December 13, 2018 at 3:00:00 pm Comments (0)
Last weekend I had an a-ha. I realized I sometimes have an unwanted sense of "rushing" within and around me. Sometimes to the point of getting dizzy. Seriously.
It all came to a head last week when I tried to mesh together a series of appointments and events and parties and time for work and time for my dog's exercise and hosting an out of town friend at my home... you get it.
What I realized was that within all this activity and rushing.... I was missing out on actually living.
One day in particular, I was meeting a neighbor at an event she invited me to a few blocks away. The event started at 10am. I told her I'd arrive at 9:45. As I raced out my door at 9:48 making excuses for myself as I frantically pushed the elevator button. "It will be fine... I'll be there by 9:53 and the event doesn't start until 10am." As my blood pressure rises and anxiety creeps in I begin to walk faster. As I race across the street and fly through the door of the venue, I'm looking left and right for where to go. I see a sign... I race upward taking two steps at a time... and feel a sense of relief as I see numerous other people around me in line. "See... it's FINE. You aren't the last one here." Then I see my neighbor, waiting, looking at her watch, finally seeing me with a slight look of impatience. As we sit down, I say to her "I'm so sorry. I hope you were relaxing here in your seat and not standing at the entrance waiting for me for ten minutes?" As I wait for her to make me feel better, she instead says, "Yes, I was."
It's interesting...being late for the first appointment or call of the day creates a ripple effect for the next 12 hours. In fact, I was late AGAIN for the same friend that evening. Only a few minutes, but I realized this sense of rushing was not only annoying to those I care about, but also creating unnecessary chaos in my day. In fact, the chaos was concocted by one and only one person... me!
So I made a commitment that evening. I said to my neighbor, "I am making a New Year's resolution but beginning today. I choose to no longer rush!" She gave me an approving nod. Enough said!
Making a conscious decision to slow down is a wonderful act of self-care. When you give yourself a structure throughout the day that allows for breathing room, you are able to be present. Soon, you aren't rushing through your meals, through conversations with one another, or through your work. In fact, choosing to no longer rush can create sacredness to your life. It's as if the entire day becomes a ritual of being in the moment, with the person in front of us, and paying attention on purpose.
So far, it's been pretty great. The decision I made also encouraged me to prioritize with greater intention. For example, is it really necessary to empty the dishwasher before you leave for the appointment? Can the towels wait to be folded? Isn't it okay to wait until later to return a phone call?
Treasure your time this weekend... and don't rush! :)
The Magic of Simplicity
Account to Approve workflow on Thursday, December 6, 2018 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
What would happen if for one month we dropped the layers upon layers of the "shoulds" within our schedules and instead replaced them with "non-negotiables" for our minds, hearts, and bodies? A sort of "filtering down" to what really moves us closer to what we desire for ourselves and others close to us?
There is something intoxicating about the idea of simplifying. Magazines, books, online programs, and movements focus on the topic. I'm not sure about you, but the word "simplify" gets me inspired...It's actually my theme for 2019!
There is, however, that crucial point where we bump up against resistance. Simplifying can be hard! Why? Because it forces us to trim away what isn't working to make space for what does work...and giving something up regardless of the positive impact can be scary.
I'm reading a wonderful book at the moment, Present over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living.
The author asks the question, "if someone gave you a completely clear calendar and a bank account as full as you wanted, what would you do?"
Once you have your answer, ask yourself how can you start implementing that vision now.
- If your answer was starting a nonprofit for rescue dogs, you could start volunteering at the local animal shelter.
- If it's a vacation around the world but your finances are tight, schedule in a "stay-cation" at home and read books and watch movies on the countries you'd like to visit.
The idea is to embody and get into the vibe of what it feels like to have it happening NOW in your life!
All is well,
Account to Approve workflow on Thursday, November 29, 2018 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
Are You Good At Loving?
Account to Approve workflow on Wednesday, November 21, 2018 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
I have a question for you.
How good are you at loving yourself? On a scale of 1-10 with ten being an all out intentional self-love...where do you fall?
It sounds so cliché, but every conversation I have with people regarding their goals, issues, happiness, and transformation all begins and ends with loving yourself. And when you love yourself, you become the type of person who finds it easy to love others. In essence, you become good at loving.
I have a group-coaching program that unfortunately is coming to an end next week. One of the participants brought up the concept of how staying in our comfort zones actually blocks self-love. She explained that when we stay in that familiar, yet not always healthy space, it's difficult to practice things like self-care and kindness, which inevitably keeps us stuck.
So how do you bust out of that space, that familiar zone that may be familiar but in some ways toxic to your well-being? I think it's truly with courage. It takes courage to love ourselves more than our fear of the pain of change or stepping out of habits that hold us down.
Stepping into the courageous parts of ourselves can be scary. Assessing what is and isn't working means sometimes we have to make tough choices and choose change. Yet if we ignore the invitation into courage, we may possibly be missing the window into our destiny.
I had a conversation recently with a good friend who not only looks amazing but also more importantly, she feels amazing. She's doing wonderful things with her work, has released weight that was holding her down physically, and is overall much happier and experiencing more ease in her life.
I asked her what the secret to her success has been.... Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Sugar Free, Keto, etc??? She laughed and said she actually gathered the courage to get to the true source internally rather than addressing surface issues. Once she addressed these internal blocks, everything shifted. She found once she truly began to love herself, she began to care about what she was putting in her body, how she spent her time, and the work she was doing with her career.
I think that's so true of any kind of change we want to see in our lives. Until we sit with ourselves and really search inside with curiosity rather than judgment, we block the doorway into this idea of intentional self-love.
So let's look at some mastery tools and solutions to start loving yourself more today. They are super easy and they really set the stage for a great day
Intention for the Day:
When you wake up in the morning ask yourself, "What is one thing I can do to love myself today?" It might be something as simple as going to get a pedicure, or calling up a friend for support, or going on a walk instead of hanging out in front of the TV. It might be speaking your truth to someone. It might be just staying in your lane and not getting involved in the drama of everyday life of those around you.
Carry that intention with you. Write in on a piece of paper. Set an alarm on your phone a few times during the day and ask yourself... "is my day aligned so far with my intention?" Watch the magic happen when you do this. You can use this tool before going into a meeting, having coffee with a friend, hopping on a call, going to the gym, or even cooking dinner. "What is my intention for this time? How do I want to feel? What is it that I am trying to accomplish?"
If you don't know whom Louise Hay is, check her out! She was and is amazing. She recently passed over, but has left such a legacy with her publishing company, Hay House Radio, and touched so many lives in a profound way. She has a great little book titled, Life Loves You, and my dear friend and colleague Jane gave it to me a few years ago. In this book, she challenges you to do Mirror Work every morning for a few minutes. Basically, it's looking in the mirror, eyeball to eyeball and saying to yourself, "I love you. I love you, and life loves you."
It's just profound. I've done it, my clients have done it, and I'm not going to lie... it's a bit uncomfortable at first. It can be emotional and scary because emotions swell up as well as judgments around those feelings. Things like, "Wait a minute, do I really love myself? What does that mean to truly love myself? If I unconditionally love myself, that means I have to let go of the judgments, of the shame, of the regret, of the guilt. Oh wow... I have to forgive myself."
I think it's easier to forgive and love others MUCH easier than it is to do the same for you. I don't know about you, but I find it very easy to forgive and move on when I perceive someone has hurt me. Yet, I've found in my life, it sometimes is difficult to forgive/love myself to the extent I offer those gifts to others.
When you do mirror work, something interesting happens. You begin to notice throughout the day what Jeff Foster, the author of The Deepest Acceptance refers to as "acts of violence" upon us. They're just very, very subtle. They might be in the way you talk about yourself.
For example, I was having dinner with a friend of mine, and she shared how she organized her home. She said, "I noticed that I said to myself, 'Wow, I FINALLY got this done.'" I nodded my head, thinking, "well that makes sense." She went on to explain... "I noticed that the word 'finally,' the way I said it, there was judgment in there. Why couldn't I have said, 'Way to go... This is awesome... I've been wanting to do this for a long time and I did it.'
Wow. Little acts of violence towards us. Something to think about.
This quiet little inner critic within can wreak havoc on your life. Can you imagine having a friend who would speak to you every day the way you sometimes speak to yourself? "Wow, you're finally releasing some weight," or, "You're finally getting a better job," or "You're finally getting organized." We'd probably walk away from that friendship and say, "No more." So why do we put up with it within ourselves?
Mirror work is powerful. You can tell I am a fan. Especially when done in the morning as it sets you up for noticing those subtle moments of dragging yourself down. So give it a try. Even for one minute a day for the next week and see what happens.
P.S. If this idea of intentionally loving yourself is too much, then instead begin with baby steps and practice small acts of kindness or self-care each day. Rome wasn't built in a day and self- love is a continual process. There really isn't a destination but more of an evolving process.
I'll see you next week. And remember if no one told you today, you are amazing and beautiful. So go share your gifts with everyone around you today because the world needs them!
Getting Dizzy On The Rumination Wheel
Account to Approve workflow on Friday, November 16, 2018 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
This week, I'd love to talk about this idea of rumination and control. Fun stuff, right? :)
It's been my experience that when I can't get off the merry-go-round in my mind, (AKA...the rumination wheel) the core causes of this unpleasant experience are two things: control and avoidance.
It's this idea of wanting to control something, someone, a situation, an experience, or an outcome AND the rumination wheel for me is simply a distraction to avoid issues within myself. Isn't to easier to look outward pointing the finger versus doing the hard work of going inside and healing? It's this desire within me to try to make a situation something other than it is. Think about that for a second. Trying to make a situation or a person or an experience, something other than they or it is. That's a pretty big feat.
So I have two questions for you:
1. What triggers rumination within you?
2. What helps you stop?
When you sit in rumination, you literally are stuck in this vortex of pain/frustration and trying to make reality different than what it is. And the truth of the matter is, the only reality you can affect, change, or shift is your own reality.
I love Byron Katie's work. If you haven't heard of her, check her out. One of her books is called "Loving What Is" and it's a very simple process to move away from the suffering that occurs within our minds while racing on that rumination wheel.
I'll share my interpretation of her work shortly, but a quick story...
Recently, I have been through a difficult time in my life with a few personal things and what I discovered is that I have a very difficult time sitting with the pain of sadness or frustration or loneliness. I tend to in my life, run to other things..."busyness," a new project, etc. Things that allow me to avoid feeling unpleasant feelings emotions and thoughts. We all have avoidance strategies in various shapes and forms.
This time, however, I chose to react differently. I chose to walk through the darkness and pain with courage and a deep knowing there was light around the bend. I actually stayed with and opened the door to those feelings I usually try to avoid... by using the strategies I often times share with clients!
A few of you have messaged me this past week saying you are trying to be "upbeat and happy" like me in my 1 Minute Mojo videos, Trust me when I tell you... these tips and tools and mojo minutes all are born out of my own past experiences or the ones I’m currently navigating through.
We are all perfectly imperfect and simply students in what I call "HU" ...Human University. So we do the best we can by waking up and being a witness to our lives and making the choice to abandon...or love ourselves. It's not always easy because this means we have to love the pain, the fear, the guilt, the regret, and that's tough. That can be really tough.
Stepping out of this space of denial and this fear of "the pain"can be terrifying, yet it also can become the spark catapulting you into a new reality. It's having the courage to acknowledge your feelings and to be with them, to sit with them to have a cup of tea with them and say, “hello there... you tend to freak me out but I’m open to getting to know you a bit.”
So back to Byron Katie. I'll share with you my interpretation of her four steps with my own twist on the verbiage. It's a tool that I use on a regular basis because I tend to be sensitive. I fully admit my feelings can sometimes be fragile and this process literally dissolves the discontent.
I hope you find it useful as well.
▪ Step #1 is acknowledging what you feel about the person or the situation by creating a statement describing your feelings. For example, "this person is so self-involved, doesn't care about me and is inconsiderate."▪ Step #2 is asking yourself, "is that true?" If the answer is "yes," then you ask yourself again, "is it really true?" If you realize that no, it's not 100% true... move on to step 3.▪ (If you feel it is 100% true what you are saying in your statement,,, buy the book as it gets more in-depth!)▪ Step #3 is asking "how does this feeling feel in my body?" Maybe a tightness in your chest or a rock in your tummy or a lump in your throat.▪ Step #4 is asking yourself "what would my life experience be right now if I didn't have this thought/feeling coursing through my mind and my body?"
▪ Step #1 is acknowledging what you feel about the person or the situation by creating a statement describing your feelings. For example, "this person is so self-involved, doesn't care about me and is inconsiderate."
▪ Step #2 is asking yourself, "is that true?" If the answer is "yes," then you ask yourself again, "is it really true?" If you realize that no, it's not 100% true... move on to step 3. If you feel it is 100% true what you are saying in your statement,,, buy the book as it gets more in-depth!
▪ Step #3 is asking "how does this feeling feel in my body?" Maybe a tightness in your chest or a rock in your tummy or a lump in your throat.
▪ Step #4 is asking yourself "what would my life experience be right now if I didn't have this thought/feeling coursing through my mind and my body?"
Bonus Step is what is called the "turn around."
"Where have I been self-involved in my life? Where have I maybe caused someone else to think that I didn't care?" This is not an opportunity to judge yourself, but simply to create awareness.
I encourage you the next time you're spending minutes, hours, or days fixated on a specific situation or person to try out this tool. My hope is it will help relieve any anxiety and fear as well as remove the desire to jump towards those avoidance strategies.
Sending you good energy for a great day. See you next week.
Mastery Tools For Intentional Living
Account to Approve workflow on Thursday, November 8, 2018 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
This week I started something fun on Facebook called, "Mondays with Meg: Get Set For A Great Week With Mastery Tools For Intentional Living."
Here is the video if you'd like to watch... or you can read the content below :)
What do I mean by "Intentional Living?" For me, it's becoming aware of how you want to feel and making decisions that line up with those feelings. It's waking up every morning and deciding to say "YES!" to life. Intentional living is being mindful with your time, with your communication, with what you eat, when you sleep, the things you say yes to... and the things you say no to.
In a nutshell, Intentional Living is making the decision to stop abandoning yourself and choosing instead to honor yourself and others. It's stepping away from numbing mechanisms... and towards being fully present and at home with yourself... the dark parts, the light parts... with your soul. And when you live with intention, the benefits show up everywhere, especially for the people in your life. Because as you know, when you are fully present with yourself, it's so much easier to give the same to others.
When people ask me what I do, I instead ask them, "Do you ever feel stuck, overwhelmed, exhausted with your life?" Many times they nod. My reply is, "I simply help you move beyond that and find your way home to who you are." As Glenda, the good witch said, from the Wizard of Oz, "When you know yourself you're always home, anywhere."
So when people come to me for support, it's often at the point where they are trying to find their way home and are asking themselves what I call the "SACRED QUESTIONS." Who am I, what do I want, and how do I want to feel? These questions are sometimes difficult to answer and can be anxiety provoking... but I do believe they are the foundational components to intentional living.
So how do we answer these questions? Through what I call "Mastery Tools for Intentional Living." We all have the right tools that work for us. I like to group mine into four categories:
- Personal Values System
- Intuition (AKA “mindfulness)
Today, I thought we would use the tool of imagination through a fun exercise. Go ahead and read through the following exercise first then give it a try....
Take a few deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose on a count of 4. Hold it for 7 seconds. Then breathe out for 8 seconds. Let's do that again. Breathe in through your nose. Hold it... and breathe out. If you can, just take the time right here and right now to be present and in this moment. Setting aside that to do list and the worries and the stresses of the day. Just for the next few minutes, make the decision to be here. As you relax in your body and in your mind, I'd love for you to take a trip into your future where you've made some changes in your life and are really beginning to feel the way you want to feel in your relationships, in your work, your finances, and your environment.
Now let's imagine it's six months from now and you are walking through one of your favorite stores. You run into someone you haven't seen in several years. They walk up to you, their eyes open wide and they reach out to you and say 'O... M.... G, you look so ________, __________, __________." Using your intuition, what are the three words they say to you?
Now, really feel those words resonate in your body. What do they feel like? How do you feel as you walk away from the conversation?
Next, ask yourself, "what is preventing me from feeling those feelings now?" Maybe it's old stories in your head or simply fear.
Finally, ask yourself "what is one thing I can begin today... just one thing... that will help me start to feel this way on a regular basis bit by bit?"
So often we look to others or to things to feed the hunger within ourselves for what we desire. When we shift our focus within, everything shifts.
You want to feel respected by others? First look at how you can start respecting yourself more.
You want to find love? Love yourself more by shifting the way you treat your body or the words you use in your head.
When we stop searching "out there" and begin cultivating "in here," our energy elevates and pretty soon people and opportunities show up to support us on our journey.
You have the power to create the reality you desire... you really do! Help yourself by using your imagination like we did in the exercise every day even if for a few minutes. After one week, I'll bet you start to notice some things starting to change.
Here are a few actions steps to support you...
- Write down the three words you chose in the exercise and post them on your mirror, your desk, etc. Somewhere you will see them every day.
- Commit to ONE thing that will begin generating the energy of those words today for you. Want to feel more peaceful? Try meditating for 2 minutes each day.... Craving more confidence? Start paying attention to your body language and stand up straight! Desire more happiness? Make a list of 7 things that make you happy-and actually do one each day.
See you next week!
p.s. you can catch me live on Facebook every Monday 12pm CT!
Thank You Project ADAM
Account to Approve workflow on Friday, November 2, 2018 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
There are moments in life you don't forget. Some you recall fondly while others make you shudder. 2 years ago I remember exactly where I was when a call came in that would forever be burned in my memory and change the life of someone very special to me, my nephew Michael Saxby... AKA "Hummel." (That's my nickname for him since he was a young child. When he slept I always thought he looked like those beautiful little German figurines. The best part is he still answers to it!)
It was two days after Christmas. I was almost home after being up north at my parents for a week. As I sat at a red light two blocks from my condo, I was thinking about the week ahead, my grocery list, yada yada yada... when my sister called..."Meg, something's wrong with Michael. We are at Children's Hospital of Wisconsin... can you come?"
Everything else was a blur for the next few days. These are the times you get down on your knees begging God to make things right... and fortunately for all of us, he and his angels were listening.
Flash-forward almost two years later and we were crying tears of joy as Michael, now 18, gave the keynote for Children's Hospital of Wisconsin's "Celebrate Children's" event last night.
So thanks Hummel, for letting me share your words, your story, and your wisdom with everyone. I love you.
"Because of Joe Lemel’s efforts and Project ADAM I am here today. Project ADAM saved my life.
Adam and I were actually very similar. Much like Adam I was an athlete. Ever since I was old enough to play with a ball I have loved sports. I loved to play sports. I loved the competition, the team, my teammates, the game, the adrenalin, winning, losing, celebrating wins, and mourning losses. It is what I did every season with my friends. We played baseball in the summer, football in the fall and basketball in the winter. And I was pretty OK at them. I played all of them in my hometown of Waunakee and I loved every moment.
During basketball season when Adam was 17 and I was 16 we also share a very similar story even though they happened years apart. And although it is similar, one part of the story is very different and actually made the difference between life and death. Adam was playing basketball on Jan 22, 1999, just like I was playing basketball on December 27, 2016. We both seemed to be the picture of health. Young, strong, happy and healthy. Neither of us knew that despite that appearance, we both had a life threatening undiagnosed heart condition. Adam suffered a Sudden Cardiac Arrest during a time out and collapsed. I was diving for a ball and as a teammate tried to help me up I suffered a Sudden Cardiac Arrest and collapsed. That is when our stories head down drastically different paths. Adam received CPR and 911 was called. And they tried so hard but unfortunately they did not have one thing they desperately needed to save Adam’s life. The only thing that can restart a heart after a Sudden Cardiac Arrest. There was NOT an AED available. An Automatic External Defibrillator is needed to shock the heart back to life after a Sudden Cardiac Arrest, CPR alone will not work. I was fortunate to be at a game where Scott Barthlama was the trainer on duty for the tournament and was sitting courtside when I collapsed. He began CPR and the referee called 911 immediately. Both actions are critical links in the chain of survival. Then my coach ran for another necessary link in the chain of survival. He ran for the one thing that was not available for Adam, an AED. An AED that West Allis Central had because of Project ADAM. So again, that is why I am here today, because even though Adam’s life could not be saved, mine and so many others were, because of the efforts of Joe Lemel and Project Adam. Efforts that came out of their grief and then desire to make sure that no family would have to suffer the loss of their child like the Lemel family did just because there was not an AED available.
I don’t remember much of that day in December. The game was in the afternoon, but all I can remember from that day is waking up, getting on the bus, and falling back asleep for a nap on the drive over. Next thing I know, I am waking up in the ICU at Children’s Hospital. And even a lot of that is not clear and it was days before I could keep the story straight and remember it. My short-term memory resembled that of Dory in Finding Nemo for days. But from what I am told when my parents found out we were minutes from the Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin, they were thankful. They knew of it and even though they did not know what was wrong with me at that point, they knew I was going to be in the best hands. They were met in the ER by a social worker that stayed with them thru the painstaking time it took to figure out what was wrong with me. They were constantly receiving updates from the caring nurses and doctors in the Emergency Room. And when they moved me up to the ICU they put my family and friends in a room to await the news. Time seemed to move slowly but they actually were able to figure out what was wrong with me very quickly. Dr. Kovach came in and gave my family the news. I had Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy. HCM - a genetic heart condition that leads to thickening of the walls of the heart. Again, relief came because they knew this was the place for me to be with a heart condition. They had heard about the Herma Heart Center at Children’s and knew it was among the best in the country. Dr. Kovach took so much time to answer their questions and really take the time to talk to them. He is still doing that for me. The care and support we received was absolutely amazing. It made my family and I feel safe and supported during a very difficult time. And given my complete recovery, the care speaks for itself.
I am sure you have heard about a case Sudden Cardiac Arrest. There are some cases that make the news. A young person, often an athlete, suffering a cardiac arrest and passing away. But do you know how often that actually happens? How often it doesn’t make the news, I didn’t, But it is more often than most of you would think. Around 1 in 300 kids have an undetected heart condition and there are about 5700 children who suffer a sudden cardiac arrest each year. That is almost 15 cases a day. THAT is why it is so important to have AEDs in schools. That is why Project ADAM is so important. And remember, it is not just the kids in the schools that benefit. There are also a huge number of adults, parents and grandparents who are often at the schools watching their kids and grandkids play a sport, perform in a play or play in a concert. They may also have a need for an AED. They may not be needed often. But when they are. It literally can save a life. And that is priceless.
My life changed that day. But with the support of my family, friends, teammates and coaches I have adapted to it. It is still hard at times to not be able to play the sports I love. But now I am a manager for the basketball team and they even let me coach a team of 11yr olds. I loved it. I have found a love for the coaching side of basketball. Something I maybe wouldn’t have had if this hadn’t happened. For football I can’t play on offense or defense since it involves sprinting and running, but I found a new role as a place kicker for my team and we even won the Division 2 State Championship last year. I am still part of the teams. No. I can’t really play sports anymore, but it has showed me there are a lot more great things that I will be able to do and have done since my incident. Thanks to Project Adam and Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin I was able to talk in front of the Wisconsin Athletic Directors at a WIAA meeting to inform them of the importance of AEDs. I personally know of one athletic director that ordered a new portable AED for his coaches to have. Ironically, they had a player go down after suffering a Sudden Cardiac Arrest that year. It was not that specific AED that was used, but they used another one they had and he did survive. I was also the honorary survivor at the 2017 Wisconsin American Heart Association Heart and Stroke walk and told my story to a couple thousand runners that day and stressed the importance of AEDs. I even got to be on Brewers Live to promote the event, which was pretty cool. And of course I have been able to share my story here tonight with all of you and to personally thank you for all your generous support. There are so many more kids and families who just like my family, and me have benefited from your generosity. I hope that you are able to continue your support because it is making such a difference in so very many lives.
I do have a future thanks to Joe Lemel’s desire to keep other families from experiencing a loss like he lost Adam. I plan on going to college next year. Then hopefully get married and have a family of my own. I am able to do this because of all of your generous support for Project ADAM, Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin and the Herma Heart Center. I also personally want to thank Dr. Kovach along with all the doctors, nurses and staff who treated my family and me so well. And - to the whole Lemel family - I am so sorry for your loss of Adam. He will forever be remembered by me and my family."
Use This One Question To Create A Great Day
Account to Approve workflow on Wednesday, October 24, 2018 at 12:00:00 am Comments (0)
I have a six-week group program in progress right now and this week we discussed the idea of aligning the choices we make each day with the intention for how we want to feel overall in our lives.
For example, if your intention in life right now is to feel purposeful in your work, then the choices you make in how you set up your day and manage your time are either going to be in sync with that intention... or not.
When you end the day feeling this sense of "ahhhh... now that was a great day," chances are the decisions you made over the past 24 hours supported your goals/desires/wishes.
On the flip side, if you flop on the couch feeling frustrated or overwhelmed, reaching for anything to forget the day and numb out...chances are your choices abandoned your intention.
So rather than creating MORE overwhelm and self-judgment, simply identify tools to keep you on track and focused.
This week, I'll share the one solution that is the"homework" for the group program...
For the next 48 hours, simply are say no to everything...unless it's an absolute pure desire.
Now, we all know there are everyday non-negotiable family & work responsibilities ...but what about all the other things we say yes to that might simply be out of habit or obligation?
In other words, if it's a "heck yeah! I want to spend my Saturday afternoon with a friend because it feeds my soul, feels expansive, and I just feel great after spending time with him/her"... then go for it.
If it's a "Oh hell no...I so don't feel like doing this...but I should. I really should. I haven't seen him/her in forever and I know they want to see me and if I don't do this then they will feel bad and then I will feel bad and I don't want to feel bad so I will just say yes. Gosh, I REALLY don't want to, but I SHOULD.... and what the heck it's not worth it to feel bad so I will just go."
Can you relate?!
Time is our most precious and valuable resource. Life can change for ourselves or the ones we love in an instant. When we choose to hold time as a precious gift in the palms of our hands and choose consciously the way we share it with others, that is when we begin to feel aligned. Making the decision to actively "own" our time empowers us to begin to create change and to literally transform our experience each day.
So today, listen to your inner voice in situations as simple as how you begin your day or as big as new possibilities for career changes. "Does this choice feel constrictive or expansive? Does this feel like a pure desire, or an obligation?"
Would love to hear your thoughts on this one!
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